One of the top questions/comments I get asked/told for selling sex toys is “oh, your sex life must be great!” or “has your sex life improved since selling this stuff?”
Or “what do your husband think?” Yes there are perks, yes my husband thinks it’s fun, yes there are times we have amazing “sessions” but at the end of the day, we are still not a unicorn couple. We don’t have sex everyday, we are just like everyone else, and still encounter bumps in the road.
Between having two toddlers, running 3 independent businesses, making an effort to be present with our children, it gets a little stressful trying to maintain that “spark”. There were multiple times in our relationship (and I am sure there will be more times) where it felt like we were just roommates, just trying to get by.
So what is the secret sauce in maintaining intimacy with a partner? Communication.
Yes, the sex toys are nice and help spice things up, but at the end of the day, you can’t build and maintain intimacy without learning how to communicate your needs, desires, and wants to your partner.
Ok, that sounds all great and dandy but tell me HOW? I got you boo! Here are some practical strategies that you can start implementing (and this goes for BOTH partners)
- *Create a Safe Space*: Establish an environment where both partners feel free to express themselves without fear of judgment or reprisal. This involves active listening, empathy, and a willingness to understand each other's perspectives.
- *Practice Active Listening*: Truly listening involves more than just hearing words; it requires attention to body language, tone, and underlying emotions. Encourage your partner to share openly, and demonstrate your attentiveness by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and offering validating responses. Don’t jump into resolution yet. Ask questions to fully understand your partner.
- *Be Vulnerable*: Vulnerability is the essence of intimacy. Share your fears, desires, and insecurities with your partner, and encourage them to do the same. By opening up, you create opportunities for deeper connection and empathy. NO JUDGMENT ZONE again, ask questions to fully understand.
- *Honesty and Transparency*: Building trust is essential for intimacy, and honesty is its foundation. Be truthful in your communication, even when it's difficult. Avoiding lies or half-truths fosters a sense of security and authenticity in the relationship.
- *Express Appreciation and Affection*: Don't underestimate the power of small gestures. Express gratitude for your partner's efforts, show affection through physical touch, and verbalize your love regularly. These acts of appreciation reaffirm your bond and strengthen intimacy. Example: picking up their favorite beverage on your way home from work.
- *Navigate Conflict Constructively*: Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but how you handle it can either deepen intimacy or drive a wedge between you. Approach disagreements with respect, patience, and a willingness to find common ground. Use "I" statements to express your feelings without blaming or accusing your partner.
- *Prioritize Quality Time*: In our fast-paced world, quality time often gets overshadowed by other commitments. Make a conscious effort to spend uninterrupted time together, free from distractions. Whether it's a weekly date night or a leisurely weekend morning, prioritize nurturing your connection.
- *Cultivate Emotional Intelligence*: Develop a deeper understanding of your own emotions and learn to empathize with your partner's feelings. Emotional intelligence enables you to communicate more effectively, validate each other's experiences, and navigate complex emotions with grace.
- *Seek Professional Help if Needed*: Sometimes, despite our best efforts, communication barriers persist. In such cases, seeking guidance from a couples therapist or counselor can provide invaluable insights and tools for overcoming challenges.
- *Celebrate Each Other's Growth*: Encourage personal growth and celebrate milestones together. Support each other's aspirations, dreams, and achievements, and cheer each other on every step of the way. By evolving together, you strengthen your bond and deepen intimacy.
To sum it all up, communication is not just about exchanging words; it's about connecting hearts and nurturing the profound intimacy that sustains relationships through life's ups and downs. By prioritizing open, honest, and empathetic communication, you lay the groundwork for a fulfilling and enduring connection with your partner. So, dare to dive deep, share your truths, and watch as intimacy blossoms and flourishes in your relationship.
Side note: if your partner thinks this is all “too emotional” stuff and gives you a hard time trying to implement any of this. Then I give you full permission to kick them to the curb. BYEEEE!!! Need to buy some of my stuff?? LOL JK (not really though, need anything??)