Let’s start with the most important thing:
Squirting is not a requirement for good sex. It is not proof that you had a better orgasm. And it is absolutely not something every body is guaranteed to do.
Some people squirt easily. Some discover it later in life. Some only experience it under very specific circumstances. Some never do it at all.
All of those experiences are normal.
But if squirting is something you're curious about exploring, there are a few things that may help — and surprisingly, one of the biggest obstacles may not be how you're being stimulated.
It may be whether you're willing to let go.
And yes, I am absolutely about to give you the Frozen advice.
Let. It. Go.
But first, we need to talk about what squirting actually is.
First: Is Squirting Just Pee?
Ah yes. The internet's favorite argument. You’ll usually find people firmly planted in one of two camps:
“Squirting is just pee.”
or
“Squirting has absolutely nothing to do with urine.”
The actual science is more complicated than either statement.
Research on squirting and female ejaculation is surprisingly limited, particularly considering how confidently people argue about it online. Researchers also increasingly distinguish between female ejaculation and squirting, although the terms are still commonly used interchangeably.
Female ejaculation generally describes a small amount of thicker fluid produced by the paraurethral glands, also called Skene's glands. Research has identified substances in this fluid including prostate-specific antigen (PSA), which is why these glands are sometimes referred to as the “female prostate.”
Squirting usually refers to the expulsion of a larger amount of clear fluid through the urethra.
One frequently cited study used ultrasound on just seven women who regularly experienced large-volume squirting. Their bladders were emptied before sexual stimulation, appeared to refill during arousal, and emptied again after squirting. Researchers also detected PSA in the expelled fluid of several participants.
A later review concluded that large-volume squirting appears to originate primarily from the bladder, while female ejaculation originates primarily from the paraurethral glands and both can happen at the same time.
So does squirting contain urinary fluid?
Yes, it can...and evidence suggests that large-volume squirting often contains a significant amount of diluted bladder fluid.
But does that mean every sexual fluid coming from the urethra is simply ordinary urination?
No.
There are paraurethral secretions involved in female sexual response, different fluids can be expelled, and the exact physiology still hasn't been studied nearly as thoroughly as it deserves.
People who squirt also commonly describe differences in the color, smell, taste and consistency compared with their typical urine. Those observations are completely valid experiences, although appearance or smell alone can't tell us the biochemical composition of the fluid.
Basically?
The science is more interesting than “LOL, you peed.”
And if you're enjoying yourself, comfortable and consenting, I am far more interested in that than winning the Great Squirting Fluid Debate of the Internet.
Tip #1: Stop Treating Squirting Like the Goal
Ironically, trying desperately to squirt can make it harder. Sexual response isn't a performance. If you're lying there thinking:
Am I close?
Is this the right spot?
Why hasn't it happened yet?
Was THAT something?
Am I doing this wrong?
Congratulations, your brain has turned sexy time into a performance review. And pressure is rarely the friend of arousal.
Instead of making “I need to squirt” the goal, make the goal:
“I'm going to explore what feels good and see what my body does.”
Maybe you squirt.
Maybe you have an incredible orgasm without squirting.
Maybe you discover an entirely new sensation.
All three are wins.
Tip #2: Your Pelvic Floor Might Be Part of the Puzzle
This may be one of the biggest reasons people unintentionally stop themselves from squirting.
Your pelvic floor is a group of muscles that supports your pelvic organs and plays a role in bladder control, sexual arousal and orgasm.
And here's something important: A healthy pelvic floor isn't simply a strong pelvic floor.
Those muscles need to be able to contract and relax.
Some people have a pelvic floor that is weak. Others have one that stays overly tight or clenched. And sometimes the issue is less about strength and more about coordination - being able to tighten those muscles when you need them and, just as importantly, release them when you don't.
Why does that matter here?
Because during intense internal stimulation, many people suddenly experience the sensation of:
OH MY GOD. I'M GOING TO PEE.
And what do we instinctively do when we think we're about to pee somewhere we're not supposed to?
We CLENCH.
Pelvic floor tightens.
Thighs clamp together.
Abs tighten.
We hold our breath.
And suddenly we've slammed the brakes on everything our body was building toward.
This is where I want you to channel Elsa.
Let. It. Go.
Instead of tightening everything, experiment with softening and releasing your pelvic floor.
Take a long exhale.
Relax your stomach.
Unclench your butt.
Let your thighs soften.
Drop your shoulders.
Relax your jaw, no seriously. We tend to tense our entire body without realizing it.
And rather than trying to forcibly push fluid out, think about allowing your pelvic floor to release and letting your body do whatever it's going to do.
And Please Don't Automatically Start Doing More Kegels
This is another reason understanding your own pelvic floor matters. We hear so much about strengthening the pelvic floor that many people assume the answer to every sexual or bladder concern is: MORE KEGELS!
But stronger isn't always better.
If your pelvic floor is already overly tight or has difficulty relaxing, repeatedly squeezing those muscles may not be what your body needs.
A pelvic-floor physical therapist can assess your strength, tension and coordination and help determine whether you would benefit from strengthening exercises, relaxation and down-training, breathing work or a combination.
We don't have research showing that pelvic-floor therapy will suddenly make someone able to squirt. Squirting itself is still not well understood. But pelvic-floor function does play an important role in sexual response, arousal and orgasm.
So think of pelvic-floor work less as: “How do I train myself to squirt?”
and more as:
“How do I learn what these muscles are doing so I can have more control over when I contract them - and when I let them go?”
Tip #3: Remove the Fear of Making a Mess
You know what makes relaxing difficult?
Thinking: OH GOD, WHAT IF I SOAK THE MATTRESS?
Remove the problem before you start.
Put down a towel or use a waterproof intimacy blanket.
If you're playing with a partner, talk about squirting beforehand.
Something as simple as:
“I sometimes feel like I need to pee when things get really intense, and I want to experiment with letting that feeling happen instead of stopping myself.”
can take an enormous amount of anxiety out of the situation.
You can also pee beforehand if that makes you feel more comfortable. Interestingly, emptying your bladder doesn't necessarily prevent squirting. That tiny ultrasound study found participants' bladders appeared to refill during sexual stimulation even after urinating beforehand.
So pee first because it makes you comfortable, not because you need to complete some mandatory pre-squirting checklist. Then put down your towel, waterproof blanket or whatever else you need and give yourself permission to make a mess.
Sex is allowed to be messy.
Tip #4: PAY ATTENTION TO THE CLITORIS
I will scream this from the rooftops until the day I die:
THE CLITORIS MATTERS.
And when I say clitoris, I'm not only talking about the little external portion you can see. The clitoris is a much larger erectile structure than its external glans suggests, with internal components extending around the vaginal and urethral region. And this is where the famous “G-spot” conversation gets much more interesting.
There actually isn't scientific agreement that there is one tiny, magical anatomical spot hiding inside the vagina. Instead, researchers have described a functional relationship between the clitoris, urethra and anterior vaginal wall, sometimes referred to as the clitourethrovaginal complex.
In other words: What we casually call the “G-spot” may make more sense as a G-zone - an area where multiple highly responsive tissues interact.
Which means I would NOT immediately dive inside and aggressively hammer away at the front wall of the vagina hoping squirting magically happens.
Please warm the engine first. Start with whatever reliably builds arousal for you.
Kissing.
Touching.
Fantasy.
Oral.
External clitoral stimulation.
A vibrator.
Take your time.
As arousal increases, genital tissues become more engorged with blood and sensation can change dramatically.
Arousal first. Technique second.
Tip #5: Then Explore the Anterior Vaginal Wall
Once you're highly aroused, you can experiment with internal stimulation.
The area people commonly associate with the G-zone is along the front/anterior vaginal wall - toward the belly button rather than the back.
Try elevating the pelvis.
Positioning can make a surprisingly big difference here. Sliding a sex-position pillow or wedge underneath the hips can gently tilt the pelvis upward, which may make it easier for fingers, a curved toy, or a partner to maintain pressure along the front/anterior vaginal wall.
It also has another benefit: you don’t have to hold yourself in that position. If you’re trying to relax your pelvic floor and let go, the last thing I want you doing is essentially holding a glute bridge while simultaneously trying to have the sexual experience of your life.
Let the pillow do the work.
This is where something like this Position Wedge can be helpful, not because a wedge magically makes someone squirt, but because it can help create a comfortable angle and allow your body to stay supported while you focus on sensation.
Some people prefer fingers. Some prefer a curved internal toy that naturally places pressure against that area.
Instead of immediately moving extremely fast, experiment with:
-
firm, consistent pressure
-
rocking motions
-
a curved “come here” motion with the fingers
-
holding pressure in one spot
-
combining internal stimulation with external clitoral stimulation
And pay attention to what YOUR body responds to. There is no universally correct rhythm.
Porn has convinced a lot of people that achieving squirting requires violently attacking the vagina at approximately the speed of a hummingbird's wings. It does not. Some people like faster stimulation. Others respond much better to slow, sustained pressure.
Your nervous system gets the deciding vote.
Tip #6: Combine Internal + Clitoral Stimulation
This may be particularly helpful because internal and external stimulation aren't happening in completely unrelated systems.
The clitoris, urethra, vagina, pelvic floor and surrounding erectile tissues interact anatomically and neurologically.
Research on orgasm also suggests that combining clitoral and anterior vaginal-wall stimulation can contribute to stronger sexual responses for some people.
This is where you might combine:
a curved internal toy + external vibrator
or
fingers internally + clitoral stimulation
or whatever combination works best for your body.
And if you're someone who enjoys enhancement products, this is also where they can be fun to experiment with.
A clitoral enhancement product can increase sensations such as warming, cooling, tingling or perceived sensitivity depending on the formula.
You could also experiment with GPS G-Spot Cream internally as directed to add another sensory component to anterior-wall stimulation.
Enhancement products aren't going to magically make someone squirt (because remember, we're not selling Hogwarts potions here) but increasing sensation and arousal may make it easier for some people to explore what their body responds to.
As always: follow the product directions, start with a small amount, and stop if something feels irritating rather than pleasurable.
Tip #7: Give Your Brain Permission to Let Go
This part does not get talked about enough.
Sometimes the obstacle isn't anatomical. It's psychological.
You can have the perfect toy, perfect technique and perfect stimulation…but if part of your brain is standing there with a clipboard saying: ABSOLUTELY NOT. WE DO NOT LOSE CONTROL HERE. Your body may have a harder time surrendering to the experience.
And this is actually one reason some people enjoy experimenting with kink.
You Do NOT Have to Go Full Dungeon
Kink exists on an enormous spectrum.
Maybe you simply try a blindfold. Why can something that simple feel so intense? Because suddenly you don't know exactly what's coming next. You're not watching what your partner is doing. You get to stop managing the experience and simply feel it.
If that feels exciting, maybe another time you experiment with soft restraints. I really love this Permission to Please set for beginners.
And if consensual restraint is already something you love, you might enjoy something like an Xposed Spreader Bar or another restraint system that allows you to stay comfortably positioned while your partner focuses completely on your pleasure.
For some people, consensually giving their partner control creates an incredible psychological permission slip:
I don't have to manage anything right now.
I don't have to perform.
I don't have to decide what happens next.
I trust you. I can just feel.
That surrender can be an enormous turn-on.
There is even research suggesting sexual responsiveness can be associated with becoming less aware of time and surroundings while becoming more absorbed in bodily sensations...essentially getting out of your head and deeper into your body.
But restraint and power exchange require more communication, not less. Talk about what you want beforehand. Discuss hard limits. Discuss things you're curious about. Choose a safeword or clear stop signal. Make sure restraints can be released quickly.
And remember: Giving someone control is not giving away your consent.
You can change your mind or stop at any time. Explicit consent and communication are actually strongly emphasized within healthy BDSM communities. Trust is what makes surrender sexy.
One More Thing: Squirting Doesn't Necessarily Equal Orgasm
This is another misconception worth clearing up.
Squirting and orgasm are not the same physiological event. They can happen together. Squirting can happen before an orgasm. It can happen during intense arousal without an orgasm. And someone can have a phenomenal orgasm without releasing any fluid whatsoever.
So please don't judge the quality of someone's orgasm by how wet the sheets are afterward. Bodies are not special-effects machines.
What If I Still Can't Squirt?
Then you haven't failed.
Seriously.
There is no evidence that every person with a vulva is capable of squirting - and we don't have enough research to say exactly why some people experience it frequently while others don't.
Sexual anatomy varies.
Nervous systems vary.
Hormones vary.
Pelvic floors vary.
Medication can affect sexual response.
Arousal changes from day to day.
And sometimes your body simply responds differently than someone else's.
The point of sexual exploration isn't to force your body into performing a particular trick. It's learning how your body experiences pleasure.
And ironically, the more you stop demanding a specific result from your body, the easier it can become to discover what it's capable of.
So, How Do You Squirt?
If I had to boil this entire article down:
- Get extremely aroused.
- Pay attention to the clitoris.
- Experiment with anterior vaginal-wall stimulation and positioning.
- Combine sensations if that feels good.
- Create an environment where you're not worried about making a mess.
- When the “I have to pee” sensation appears, don't immediately panic and clamp everything shut.
And most importantly…
Relax.
Trust your body.
And in the immortal words of Elsa:
Let. It. Go.
Maybe you squirt.
Maybe you don't.
Either way, chasing pleasure instead of chasing a performance is going to give you a much better place to start.
A Quick Health Note
Squirting during sexual arousal is different from unwanted urinary leakage.
If you're regularly leaking urine during penetration, coughing, exercising or other activities; experiencing new urinary symptoms; having pelvic pain; or you're concerned about changes in bladder control, talk with a healthcare professional or pelvic-floor physical therapist. Sexual incontinence exists and deserves appropriate evaluation rather than automatically being dismissed as squirting.
Research Referenced
Research on squirting remains limited, and much of the existing evidence involves very small samples. Sources informing this article include research on female ejaculation and squirting published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine and Clinical Anatomy, studies of clitoral/anterior vaginal-wall anatomy, and systematic reviews examining the pelvic floor's role in sexual response.
